Joe Phillips Football

This Blog is created by Joe Phillips. I played Professional Football in The National Football League for fourteen seasons. I was drafted by the Minnesota Vikings. I was cut and signed as a "Replacement Player" by the San Diego Chargers in 1987. I spent 5 seasons with the Chargers before becoming one of the first Free Agents to move following the White decision in 1992 and signing with the Kansas City Chiefs. I spent 6 seasons as a Chief. I then played 1 season for the St Louis Rams. I ended my career with a final season as a Viking in Minnesota.

This Blog is created with the purpose of responding to certain allegations and statements made about me and my life by my former wife, Cynthia Ream-Phillips, in an article published in the Kansas City Star, The Columbian Newspaper, and in an interview aired on "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel".

I started this Blog, and will continue to add comments to it, because my children do not deserve to be told that they were abandoned by their father. They do not deserve to have their friends, schoolmates or others around them telling them that their father abandoned them. They do not deserve to be told their father is something he is not. The amount of information that needs to be stated is voluminous. I will be adding and editing to this Blog on an ongoing basis. Please be patient.


First and most importantly what must be addressed is the idea that I abandoned my four children. As you will see, this a lie.

Following the end of my time as a Football player, I was faced with the reality that the marriage I had been in for 17 years had been ending for several years. I was prepared for, and in fact, somewhat relieved that the intense physical toll would be ending. Toward the end of my career it was evident to me that the lifestyle of professional football would be easier for me to leave then for my former wife. From the beginning of the marriage she had worked to promote herself through football and I had done a great deal to facilitate her achieving the things she set out to do. I paid for all expenses(tuition and lifestyle) as she attended law school and sat for three bar exams. I purchased a beauty salon for her. Through contacts at the Chiefs, I facillitated her being able to do several television shows, including the Chiefs Pregame show, Chiefs Christmas and others. Through my contacts at Turner Sports ( I had done sideline for the Senior Bowl in 1997) she was hired to do Turner Sports Super Bowl Pregame Show. I even brought her on as a Co-Host to my Radio Show in Kansas City. Cindy, during this time, enjoyed a kind of "soap opera" life. She had a Beauty Salon, a personal trainer, full time nannies. plastic surgeons, a professional decorator, and a cook. We lived in a beautiful home near the plaza in Kansas City and except for the multiple football injuries that I was accruing and suffering from, we and our children were in good health.

But, as I knew, the life had to end. The injuries were crippling. I was anxious to begin life as something other than a defensive tackle, the most physically punishing task on a football field. I had a license to practice law. I had a great association with the Law Firm of McDowell, Rice, Smith and Gaar in Kansas City and had been allowed to gain legal experience with the firm in the football offseasons. I had the benefit of many friends and contacts in Kansas City with the Chiefs and in the community. I was ready. She was not, or perhaps, she was ready to move on with me out of the picture.

I did everything possible to save the marriage that I was in with Cindy. I agreed to move to Florida so she could be closer to her parents. We moved less than ten miles from them. They had continually been present at our homes while we were married, and when we moved to Florida, it became apparent Cindy was invested more in spending time with them than in continuing to build a relationship with me as something other than a professional athlete. I attended marriage counseling twice a week for over ten months. It was to no avail.

Cindy's parents worked as family law mediators in the courthouse of the county Cindy and I moved to. Yes, talk about a railroad job: Move to jurisdiction in which her parents work in the courthouse in a family law, when every ounce of financial or gain or status was beaten out of me after years of football, and then, construct a circumstance in which I was painted as something I was not. All this took time, two years, and then, of course, money (Cindy transferred over 2 million out of accounts within less than forty five days of the divorce filing and another 1.7 million upon conclusion of the divorce financial matters) and the children. So much for the lie about me spending 90% of the money that I made on the football field--the lies, distortions and manipulations are pervasive and are not motivated by adherence to actual occurrences but by how the statements can create a distortion of my true character in the mind's of those in the court and community, helping her execute her plan.

I filed for divorce when I learned Cindy was both personally telling and sending letters to people stating that I was trying to kill her. I have not and would not ever do such a thing. I was advised I had to file for divorce for my protection. As it had to be explained to me, I couldn't face it without others showing me, Cindy was orchestrating a scenario in which she would have a tremendous amount of leverage over me. She was doing it without regard for the truth or actual events, using the technique of telling a big enough lie enough times to lead uninformed people to eventually accept it without question. Always and forever anyone who cares to read this needs to know--

Cindy left Florida first. I was seeing my children 3-5 times a week, going to their schools, and having them visit my home. Cindy moved those kids to New York City in the summer of 2002. She had made multiple trips to New York with the children without my knowledge. She convinced my eldest daughter Ashley to attend a performing arts school in the Queensborough area of New York City and used Ashley's relationship with me to coerce me into a kind of submission; either I must let the children move thousands of miles away or risk Ashley forever believing that I was the person who stood in the way of her dreams. What a horrible position for a father and daughter to be put in. What could I do? The choice for me, created by Cindy, was would I be a father who crushed his eldest daughter's hopes or one who was certain to lose access to his three other children with their relocation to New York? Either choice was cruel to me and the children.

The move to New York I am certain was motivated by Cindy believing it was her way to get back in front of the camera and see her face on the television screen. She had lived in New York for several years before she met me and had contacts in that city. She was especially driven to use her relationship with Sally Jesse Raphael to help Cindy gain in roads in the television business.

After Cindy's move to New York with the children, I flew there and stayed in hotels every other weekend to see the children. I took them trick or treating and visited their schools. It was financially, physically, and emotionally exhausting. I was alone in Florida, surrounded by bad memories of false accusations of drug abuse, violence, and mental instability. The divorce was an assault on me as a person, father, etc... We, with the participation and mediation of our marriage counselor, had made an agreement for an amicable divorce. Cindy's agreement to this was simply a way to keep me from seeing the action she was preparing. While I was doing everything to save my family, I was accused of drug and alcohol abuse. I said, "Fine, you say I am crazy or on drugs, I'll do whatever it takes to save this marriage." I sought extensive professional advice. It turned out to be a good thing; they could vouch for me, my actions and my stability. One analyst after being involved in a deposition and review of the case and the facts said alcohol may have kept me sane! I was never diagnosed by them with anything other than depression.

I went so far as to have myself tested before and after ever visitation with my children. It too was a good thing as we used the tests in court when she accused me of being on drugs during a visitation with my children. With over 2 and 1/2 years of random testing, testing before and after seeing my children at times and sites of Cindy's choosing, I never tested positive for anything.--nothing--ever--in spite of this, she continues to make allegations. I ask people to look at the facts not just her assertions.

During the divorce, Cindy had me followed for over six months by two private investigators trying to find something she could use to support her lies about me. The lead investigator at his deposition stated he would fax his reports to Cindy; then, she would edit them and send them to him for his signature. Is that unbelievable? She is so manipulative. I can't imagine how much money she had to pay the investigators. By the way, the "worst thing " they found was I had two beers and a bowl of clam chowder in the Dallas airport. Amazing, this woman is practicing law, scary.

During a visitation in May of 2004 in New York City with my children I was asked by one of them if I would be able to come see them when they moved to Pennsylvania. I was shocked. I had not been informed of any plans or intentions to move the children. Later it came to my attention that Cindy had purchased a home in Washington, PA. in October of 2003. She had in no way consulted me or advised me of the move until in June of 2004, she informed me that if I was going to pick up the children for summer, I would have to do so at their new home in Pennsylvania. I did so and spent six great weeks with the children at my home in Oregon where we were able to spend a great deal of time getting with the children's cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.